


"Take My Hand, Take My Heart"

by helenkacan



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Community: romancingmcshep, Friends to Lovers, Friendship/Love, Intactivism, M/M, Post-Season/Series 05 Finale, Pre-Slash, Slash, Soulmarks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-01
Updated: 2018-03-01
Packaged: 2019-03-25 01:40:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,039
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13823784
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/helenkacan/pseuds/helenkacan
Summary: Rodney had had too many soulmarks; John didn't have a single one. Do they stand a chance in the romance lottery? How do they even learn of each other's secret? Contains brief mention of past Katie/Rodney (sympathetic) and breakup of Jennifer/Rodney (not so much). Not for Jennifer fans. With bonus magnificent(!) science, satisfying Rodney's big brain and guaranteeing a truly happy ending, not only for our boys, but also Atlantis!Rodney's POV (mostly) with rare glimpses into John's mind.





	"Take My Hand, Take My Heart"

**Author's Note:**

  * For [melagan](https://archiveofourown.org/users/melagan/gifts).



> With merely the briefest mention of a particular M/M sex act, I'm delighted to gift this story to melagan. Life would be truly boring without your ... uh ... scientific curiosity!

It was only the beginning of February and Dr. Rodney McKay, PhD, PhD, was grumpy and irritable. Not only was he alone – again – at a time when romance was in the air ... even in Atlantis, he appeared to have picked up yet another allergy, or perhaps it was just contact dermatitis. Whatever it was, the itching on the inside of his left wrist was ... uncomfortable.

What wasn't as uncomfortable was the absence of Jennifer whom he'd icily – but very politely – finally told to go fuck herself with the first all-American dick she could find. He'd been infuriated by her simplistic attitude toward his ... equipment. It was as if she couldn't fathom having anything to do sexually with a guy who was intact, who hadn't been cut. Considering how prudish Americans still were when it came to sexual matters (and the money-grubbing nature of American medicine for way too many decades) or how ignorant about saner health practices beyond their borders, he wasn't surprised.

But he was sad – for her immaturity – even as he acknowledged feeling wounded and frankly rejected when she wouldn't ever touch him if he wasn't wearing a condom. It didn't matter that – under Carson - everyone had been tested 99 ways to infinity, before they were allowed on the expedition, and on a regular schedule since then.

He could understand the insistence for and convenience of condoms for fucking ... less of a mess and all that. But it stung to see how reluctant she was to touch him unless he was wearing a condom, or she a latex glove. Under other circumstances, a glove could have been a hot prop in a kinky scene, especially if black or red, but not stupid boring beige latex. He could tell she was biting her tongue not to call it ugly-looking. Everything came to a sudden screeching halt when she suggested he get snipped. She'd even offered to do it herself, under anaesthesia! Unbelievable. So fucking intrusive into something that was just who he was and not a fixer-upper for a partner. Just remembering her _offer_ now, a few weeks later, made Rodney wince and cringe. If she'd wanted to be so helpful with all the _woo-woo_ Voodoo at her disposal, then why couldn't she find a way to neutralize his anaphylactic triggers or tendency to hypoglycemia instead. Those were real health hazards nobody needed.

As he was already in a bad mood, he allowed himself to recall the state of his romantic life, or lack thereof, since he joined the expedition. He should have understood that Katie had been doing her best to be with him, perhaps just wanting to fit in even if she didn't carry his soulmark. She'd been sweet to him and tried to understand his work and out-of-whack schedule, even if she would never really grasp what it was like to respond to a _life-or-death_ emergency herself, certainly not in her placid botany lab. Rodney hoped she'd found someone who shared her goals and appreciated her sweet and often quirky nature back on Earth, as he remembered the weird plant thing she'd named after him.

But he'd been baffled completely by Jennifer's presumed _acceptance_ of him, especially after he'd heard how important soulmarks were in her family. If he had to listen to yet another long-winded litany about her dad still mourning her mom's death, well, he would have started wearing earplugs 24/7.

Or perhaps it was exactly that trauma that had allowed her to entertain the courtship for as long as she had, so that she'd never be left with a permanent scar on her wrist if.... If...? More likely _when_ something went south and it was his task to fix it ... or die trying. Rodney tried to overlook the fact that Pegasus had contributed another two marks to add to all the others crowding both wrists since his first crush on April Bingham.

Rodney didn't understand the whole soulmark protocols. Apparently, it was considered rude to show uncovered wrists until one found one's corresponding match. Then, when one did, uncovered wrists were socially acceptable. What confused him was seeing happy couples (such as Jeannie and the English major) sporting just a single mark each. He knew his sister.

He _knew_ she'd had crushes, had dated during high school and university. He didn't believe that she'd never had any marks other than the black one she flaunted so smugly in front of everyone – especially him. So he couldn't believe that he was such a romantic pushover with dozens of marks. Just as well that everyone observed the rules even here and kept their wrists covered. Less humiliating that way.

Not that Rodney had any interest in American history, but he wondered if the damn Puritans had loved the intimately personal nature of the tally. As if an embroidered "A" on a piece of outer clothing weren't enough, having a second mark on skin was more humiliating, especially _after_ marriage. Just sentence the guilty party to keep bare wrists, even during the harshest winter.

Thankful he still had Sheppard to hang out with, he idly scratched at his wrist again before getting up and going to look for his best friend. After dinner, they were going to race cars, with their special buddy Torren being given the big-boy (or big-enough-boy) chance to race his own car – a birthday present from them - for the first time. It was the least they could do for Teyla and Kanaan so they could have some alone time at a moonlight picnic in the Solarium. Teyla was pregnant again, so they were trying to make this one as smooth as possible. Not being kidnapped by the Wraith was only Step 1. It helped that the Wraith had been reduced to little more than a few Hives spread across the galaxy.

~::~

Rodney's days were filled with work over the next couple of weeks and his evenings equally occupied usually with John somewhere in his vicinity. He couldn't believe that they'd actually spent a couple of hours discussing "War and Peace" which Rodney had read – on a dare from Sheppard, _of course_ \- so they could try to trip each other up. Despite their stable partnered status, both Teyla and Ronon took time away from Kanaan and Amelia to join them for strictly Team evenings, bringing back fond memories of the good old days (in between fighting enemies and running for their lives). With expanded trade in Pegasus, there was an International Pavilion erected on one of the piers where vendors sold their wares two days each week. The Team often enjoyed choosing random dishes, then sharing them during dinner.

Rodney's wrist continued to itch.

~::~

It was finally Valentine's Day and all of those who were partnered offered to switch shifts with those who were single, so they could do whatever they wanted for the entire day and not feel as if they were insignificant or unwanted. Rodney had already booked the pool area for John and himself during the day. It was a relief that the engineers (thanks, Radek) were finally able to rescue the most flood-ravaged but not vital parts of the city, with the indoor pools being the last to emerge, pristine again out of the slime and mould. In an airy glass-walled and ceilinged space, there was a salt-water pool (slightly filtered to remove any harmful ocean parasites and bacteria), a fresh-water pool, a wave pool (though not strong enough for John to be able to surf), and even the Ancients' version of a sensory deprivation tank.

After several years on Atlantis, Rodney had surprised himself to learn that his body structure (slightly stocky with strong shoulders) gave him an advantage in the pool. He'd felt John's admiring eyes on him when he did the breast stroke or, better yet, a powerful butterfly. Perhaps his great aunt wasn't wrong to have coerced his parents to name him "Meredith" (guardian of the sea). After swimming for a while, they ended up frolicking with a beach ball in the wave pool. For once Rodney didn't mind the mindless frivolity. He even stopped calculating the trajectories of the beach ball.

Finally, hours later, Rodney urged John to join him in the sensory deprivation chamber which – for the sake of safety and assuring those who were reluctant to try it – could be controlled both with the ATA gene and through spoken commands.

Though Rodney was able to convince John to strip out of his trunks so that they'd be completely in contact with the buoyant saturated water, John refused to remove his wristbands.

Rodney put his hands on his hips dramatically (for which again he thanked his teen Drama Award). Stubborn and belligerent he could do in his sleep. "Sheppard, take them off already. Do you want to get salty gunk encrusted on them?"

John fidgeted with his wristbands, coverings he'd worn as emotional protection his entire life. He couldn't just show anybody ... especially not Rodney. At the thought of Rodney, of Rodney's voice cajoling him to remove a body covering, he felt a surge of heat underneath his right wristband that corresponded to a stiffening underneath his towel. John frantically thought "Off, off, off!" at his dick, hoping that Rodney hadn't noticed. Only later would he comprehend that his dick had responded immediately and wonder what that was all about.

His discomfort and vacillation continued as he sat on the bench until he forced himself to look up into Rodney's familiar face, his earnest eyes that telegraphed all his emotions. Rodney was – above all else – his friend, whom he'd trusted even when it was folly to trust. But then there were the heroic – if not always successful - attempts, when Rodney had drowned during the original timeline of the expedition ... or stepped into the energy cloud ... or spent 25 lonely, obsessed years trying to recover John from a doomed future.

Just as Rodney had trusted him during Second Childhood. They'd saved each other so often during the decade that they didn't even need to mention it. Just smirk once or twice at each other – usually in an impossibly boring meeting chaired by Woolsey.

"I – uh – I don't have anything to show. I've never had any soulmarks in my life. Gave up on the possibility I might ever love anyone. Especially when I hit my thirties. Dad couldn't relate, neither did Dave. They were both ... _normal_."

Rodney's voice was soft. "Yet ... yet ... you married Nancy."

John's voice was sharp in return. "And eventually she divorced me."

"Did you at least like her?"

"What kind of an asshole question is that? Of course I liked her. We got along great until the job got in the way. When she complained to Dad who – of course – took her side."

John's curiosity was piqued as he examined Rodney's bare wrists which – in contrast to his – were covered with red marks. There was also a slight rash on his left wrist where he'd observed Rodney subconsciously scratching at it. "What's your story? You seem to have loved a lot of people. Or maybe had way too many crushes on your teachers when you were a kid."

Rodney waved a dismissive hand in John's direction. "Crushes, sure, including my humiliating prom incident with April Bingham. But not on any teachers – not when I could think and calculate light years ahead of them."

He sighed, rubbing his irritated skin. "It didn't matter how slight my feelings were, a new red mark would appear overnight. If it weren't considered polite behaviour to keep one's wrists covered, even more people might have tried to bully me. Or try to blackmail or blackball me at the SGC as being...." Rodney snorted derisively, "too morally permissive and emotionally compromised to be considered a serious candidate for the CSO position."

"That's just unfounded bigotry," John offered, supporting his friend.

"Definitely, but don't put it past the IOC to use everything at their disposal to try to create discord in our operations. We've been playing by our own rules for a decade and they find that threatening."

John stretched to keep his muscles limber after their swims, dropping his towel. "Hey, we're supposed to be relaxing. I don't want the IOC to be a topic of discussion on our day off." He glanced at the hatch to the tank, causing the hatch to glide upward at a thought.

Rodney dropped his towel then quickly clambered into the dimly-lit interior. He flopped down on his back and waited for John to finish climbing in and sealing them – temporarily – inside together.

~::~

After an unprecedented hour of bliss inside the tank where neither man felt compelled to break the comfortable silence, they roused themselves, exited the tank, and luxuriated in a hot shower.

Not feeling any need to cut their day short, they returned to the pool area, wearing long bathrobes, dropping down onto side-by-side luxuriously soft deck chairs.

Rodney finally spoke for the first time in more than an hour. "John, do you trust me?"

John grunted. "Are we at that phase again? I thought we'd moved past it."

Rodney's voice faltered. "We did. I just-I just want to test a theory. Play along with me. So ... think about loving someone and of being loved back. Let yourself acknowledge that you deserve love."

John shrugged his shoulders and sighed. "Okay, I'll play along but I don't know what you think this is going to prove. Here goes."

He closed his eyes briefly but a jangle of intense itching on his right wrist forced him to open his eyes, looking bewildered as red dots seemed to be emerging from beneath the skin and swarming to form the unexpected soulmark on his skin. As he continued to stare in awe, mouth dropping open, the mark darkened until it was jet black, gleaming in its perfect intensity.

"How? Why now?" His voice was faint, uncertain.

Rodney rose from his chaise longue and walked around to stand in front of his friend. "Sheppard. Look at me." Rodney waited until John's confused glance jumped over to the wrist Rodney was almost shoving in his face. He watched, transfixed once again, as vivid red dots repeated the same sequence until Rodney's wrist also displayed the sharp image of a fully-completed soulmark.

"You love me." Rodney wasn't asking a question, but John felt compelled to nod. "And, if you need spoken confirmation, I love you back, but I think my mark needed to respond to the trigger of your revealed mark. Why did it happen? Why couldn't you show one earlier? It all has to do with that superior ATA of yours. Because of the mental component, you'd actually suppressed the chemical formation of a soulmark until I ordered you to think about it."

John frowned, even as he remembered how easily he'd just talked his dick back down so he wouldn't embarrass himself. Maybe Rodney had a point after all? "I thought you didn't believe in all this soulmark stuff."

Rodney rolled his eyes. "I don't. I think it's mostly rainbows-and-magical ponies quackery. But I believe in real science and observing facts. Fact: I've had this irritating itch for weeks that didn't seem to be headed anywhere, so I guessed that my soulmark would be a recessive trait needing the catalyst of its counterpart for activation. It does make sense as my ATA gene is also recessive. Even though I refused to consciously think about how much I loved you (and that's why the stupid rash kept getting worse), I hoped you would discover you loved me too."

John squirmed in discomfort. "That sounds kind of rapey to me, buddy, having my gene force your soulmark."

Rodney flapped his arms to object. "No-no-no-no-no. There's no coercion or force. You didn't think my soulmark into existence, but your legendary strongest ATA expression woke it up. Think of it as an alarm clock. Yours was in perfect proximity."

"Huh. So why would you or I have this variation on a soulmark?"

"Maybe the Ancients needed to have a few couples exhibit this extra feature in each generation for some unique purpose."

John huffed. "Well, it's not as if either of us is going to get pregnant any time soon." Despite his outward assurance, he looked around him nervously, as if expecting impregnating tentacles to descend from the ceiling and have their wicked way with him. He shivered.

Rodney grasped John's arms and pulled him up off the chaise and into the circle of his embrace. Except for rescues, it was the first time the two men had been so near physically though they'd come close on occasion, especially during times of great stress.

Rodney trailed a thumb down John's cheek. As his thumb tingled, he observed John's shuddering reaction and hummingbird-like fluttering lashes. _Interesting._

"Let it go, John. Let go all of the uncertainty that you don't deserve this and let me in."

He followed his words up by pressing his lips to John's in a soft kiss that suddenly wasn't soft as thousands of sleeping nerve endings woke up in a blaze of pulsing energy, leading to....

They broke apart, gasping for air as they stared in astonishment at the HUD that had sprung up hovering in front of their faces.

John remembered having asked the same words a long time ago, definitely in a galaxy far, far away. "Did I do that?"

Rodney studied the display intently. "You wanted to know why the Ancients introduced this genetic wrinkle? I think we just got our answer. That, you genetic oddity, is the address to a shielded planet where the Ancients had manufactured Zed-PMs. It makes sense they didn't have something so vital on Atlantis and why we found so few in the abandoned city."

John pulled away further as if getting ready to walk away. The HUD disappeared as they broke physical contact. "So, I guess you're going to take this info to Woolsey right now and get permission to mount a scientific mission."

Rodney shrugged. "You know, the _old_ me would have done exactly that in a heartbeat. But the old me has been discarded, or let's say recycled into a better me. And one thing the better me knows is to set priorities. Right now, you are the number one priority in my life. And the only scientific curiosity is to learn exactly what the parameters are of this new connection between us."

"What else do you think might happen?" John didn't know whether he really wanted to know.

"Well, we started with kissing which mixed our DNA. We could always continue with more kissing." Rodney's voice got husky as his cheeks pinked. "Especially nude kissing."

John's arms snaked around Rodney's waist. He was back on board, not leaving Rodney. "Might that nude kissing lead to – say – a 69?"

Rodney's eyes twinkled as he took his time answering. "It ... might eventually. Is there a special reason you'd like to try that position?"

"Just think, Rodney. This is what we created with only two contact points. Imagine what might happen with four!"

Rodney's gaze grew dreamy, his eyes losing focus. Then he shook himself into action. "Come on. We have no time to waste."

John laughed as he hurried after him into the dressing room. Despite their recent revelations and new status, they didn't dawdle while dressing so they could return to their quarters to gather the necessary supplies. John noticed something as they were pulling their shirts on and drew Rodney's attention back to his left wrist. "Look. All the other marks have faded. There's only one ... ours."

Rodney's reaction was unexpected. "Oh! Just wait till I get to rant at Jeannie the next time we're on Earth. All this time, she was flaunting her superiority as if she'd found her one-and-only with no other attachments along the way to sully her emotional purity. It's all a hyped cover-up if all previous marks disappear."

John shook his head. "Rodney, it's not important. I don't care about Jeannie or any of the billions of people who have only one mark. It might even be because the Ancients wanted to create a stable society. So they adapted a formula that would make all previous marks disappear once a couple found each other. After all, you and I match now. So ... weren't we off to do some kissing? And – uh – more?"

"Yes-yes-yes. You're right. The most important thing to start with is kissing. Naked kissing. And more. Which I'll bet we won't get to do if we're in the city. So, I think you really need to check on Jumper Three tonight by flying it to the mainland." It didn't matter what planet Atlantis called home. There was always a mainland nearby.

Rooney continued, his confidence bolstered. "You'll probably need to spend the night there, with my scientific assistance. Where we'll have the privacy to test our DNA and ATA compatibility more fully."

"One night of scientific discovery coming up. Is there anything else, buddy?"

They'd just reached the cascade of glass panels that created the entrance to the pools. Before John had time to think the doors open, Rodney turned to him, waving a hand in the general vicinity of his waist. "Uh ... you've seen what I look like. It's not going to be a problem, is it?"

John's expression darkened, a reminder of how dangerous he could be when threatened. "Just say the word, pal. They'll never find the body."

Rodney's breath stilled. "No, no, you don't have to go to extremes. She's not worth it. I just like that you're open-minded."

"Rodney, I'm a grown man, not an impressionable kid. I've seen big dicks, small dicks...."

Rodney snickered. "Purple dicks, spotted dicks, you've seen them one and all."

"It's no big deal when you're in the military. You don't stare and just move on."

"Unless you want me to keep staring and trying new things."

John quirked an eyebrow. "Anything you'd care to suggest?"

"Have you heard of docking?"

"Nope. Does it have anything to do with a Jumper?"

"We _could_ do it in a Jumper ... eventually. Let's just say that it's about the closest our dicks can be, all snug, with my foreskin stretched carefully around both heads."

John's sudden gulp interrupted Rodney. "You-you can do that?"

"I'd _love_ to do it with you, John."

"I'll hold you to that promise. In the meantime, I'd better reserve the Jumper."

John finally thought the door open and they walked out into the hallway. He clicked on his comm unit. "Control, this is Col. Sheppard. Dr. McKay and I need Jumper Three to conduct some diagnostic tests over the mainland tonight beginning at 2200 hours."

Rodney couldn't be sure but he thought he heard giggling and the slapping of something several times down on a console. "Right away, Sir. Jumper Three is reserved for your and Dr. McKay's use until 1200 hours tomorrow."

"Noted. Sheppard out."

He glanced at Rodney as they walked purposefully to the transporter. "I'll bring the sleeping bags and food. Can you handle the special supplies and something to drink that is better than the unofficial hooch?"

Rodney grinned. "Oh, definitely. I've been saving this bottle for a special occasion."

"Bring your tablet. We should record any other HUD manifestations. Who knows what else we'll uncover."

Rodney hummed in eager assent. "I know exactly what I want to uncover ... but I'll bring my tablet anyway."

"You know, you're enjoying all of this way too much."

Rodney squawked in protest. "What? Just because I've had my _record_ erased? And replaced with something ... someone of immense value?"

John waved his hand lazily in front of him. "Okay, okay. I give up. Please continue with the enjoyment."

The two voices engaged in familiar banter, finally stripped of any sniping or cock-blocking from the past, until they entered the transporter.

~::~

Atlantis was content, floating on a new ocean, on an unfamiliar planet. But she felt reborn, knowing that there would once again be a Prime Union to help restore her to her fullest potential as the only city soaring through the skies of Pegasus. But - that was a plan for tomorrow. Tonight belonged to her beloved offspring John and Rodney – together at last. 

**Author's Note:**

> Special super thanks to Mandykaysfic for this wonderful PROMPT:  
> Not exactly soul bonding but this prompt from pinterest sounded interesting - every time you fall in love you get a red tally mark on your wrist. It turns black when your love is requited and into a scar if your love dies. Imagine someone with no marks meeting someone with 50 marks, aromantics with no tally marks laughing at this, someone afraid of love suddenly getting a tally mark ... no tally mark for John if he didn't really love Nancy. Rodney would have tally marks for April, Sam, Katie, Jennifer....


End file.
